Carrying babies is seriously amazing right? It comes with a whirlwind of highs, lows and changes. Some changes are controllable and some, not so much. This means as women and as moms, we need to be able to acknowledge the changes in our lives and bodies and find the best way to be happy about it.
It means not comparing yourself to Sally. Sally has different priorities. A different body. Different kids. A different home. It means learning to love where YOU are at. It means loving the process and appreciating what your body has created.
For most of us, finding post partum happiness, means deciding what bring you the most joy and prioritizing that. What makes you feel like your best self and sacrificing A because B brings us more joy. You might be a superhero and have it figured out with no sacrifice and that is AMAZING. I am SO proud of you. With one baby, I felt like I had everything 100% how I needed it without sacrifice. With 2 kids, I had some bad days and decided I needed to let shit go. I needed to make some sacrifices. So I did and I’m happy. Not every day goes well…honestly most are still a sleepless shit show while we all adjust to the change. But I choose happy. I choose what serves us best in that moment, for that day.
For me….that’s letting go of a spotless house for me time and workouts. I don’t nap when my kids nap. I workout. I shower. I sit in silence with a glass of wine and yes, sometimes…I clean. It also meant letting go of being the ‘perfect’ mom. I’ve now been caught with a screaming toddler dangling from my hand and a newborn in my arms….in public. I’ve now said fuck it and left events after meltdowns because seriously….fuck it, it’s not serving anyone in that moment 😂 We’ve stayed in PJs all day because it just wasn’t happening. I’ve cried on the floor in the middle of the day because everything went to shit that morning and it wasn’t even 1030am. It allowed me to laugh at my self that evening. I’ve opened a bottle of wine before noon. I’ve used YouTube to entertain my little monster because I couldn’t do another 5 minutes in the car being yelled at. At the end of the day….I ‘caved’ and did so many things I never planned because in that moment…it helped my day and prevented me from feeling depressed, angry, frustrated etc. In that moment I chose to go for happy, not even for myself but for all of us. It helps me be patient with my kids. It helps me laugh off the bullshit.
So…how do you choose happy?
Prioritize what’s important to you. Stick with those points. Let go of the rest.
For me… (really in no specific order but my personal priorities first, mom second)
- Fitness/feeling strong and good in my skin/self care
- Alone time
- Caring for/loving on my hubby
- Getting outside
- Being organized
- My kids are hugged/kissed/feeling loved the shit out of
- Healthy meals
- Fun fun fun and development
- My husband feels loved and cared for
- When he’s home/working his lunches are made, his dinner is hot when he gets home
- His needs are met 😉
- We have fun together
I seriously think those are all my priorities. Nothing outside of that matters on a bad/hard day. Having this list allows me to focus on what I CAN do…even when I’m having a hard, shit day…this list is always attainable and is always met.
On good days, which happen pretty often, everything gets done. The house is clean, laundry is done, yard is cared for etc.. Having a plan for shit days makes all the difference to me. It helps make my shit days good, even though it felt like everything went wrong, I still cared for everyone, including myself and that is something to be proud of and happy for. Don’t neglect yourself. You deserve to feel good. Your family will feel it when your cup is empty. Fill that cup right up every day.
I get rid of things that don’t motivate me, encourage me or elevate me. It’s not worth it. It leaves you prone to wasting time and feeling bad because it didn’t happen today, or yesterday.
This also means you need to hold yourself accountable to your priorities. Hold yourself to what is important to you and make sure it happens when it is supposed to. You CAN do it and you’ll feel like shit if you don’t so set yourself up for success and JUST DOOO IT. Don’t blame your hormones or being ‘too busy’ because you can choose happy and you are in control of your to do list and priorities. You can override your hormones (I do it often right now) and you are in control of your body and mind. 🌹❤
Life is a marathon and you cannot win a marathon without putting some bandaids on your nipples. Bandaid up you beautiful babes 👊🏼❤😂👩👧👦